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My grandfather said I should have been a preacher, perhaps it was because I would go on and on and never shut up on any number of subjects. I have been packing and cleaning all weekend and as with all things related to the kids, I started freaking out about my nude Statue of David. This is a museum quality replica that my friends Blanka and Julian gave to me for a birthday gift years ago.
Then I started thinking about the Biblical story of David and realized that while I do not believe in the creation of the world according to Genesis, as a scholar I am very fond of many of the stories from the Holy Bible and how they apply to life in so many ways.
David according to many scholars at the time of this story was a young Shepard Boy no more than 13 or 14 years of age, my cousin Tyler is 14 and Samantha is 11. The significance of the story is the ability to overcome adversity, that no matter how challenging the fight, that with love you can overcome.
My two cousins have faced a challenge far greater than any child should have to face, we live in a cruel and unjust world but as I know and as they will learn, love does conquer all.
Goliath was a Giant over 9ft tall, a soldier in full battle armor with sword that even the bravest soldiers from King Saul's army fled in fear.
David heard that King Saul would bless the man who killed Goliath with riches and pardons and as such David made it known that he would battle Goliath. King Saul had his own reasons to send David to battle with Goliath which we will explore at another time.
King Saul gave David his own tunic and fitted him with sword and armor. We must remember that David was only a boy and he soon found out that he could not walk or move fitted in a mans full armor. So David shed the armor and in just the King's tunic, he picked up his sling and 5 smooth stones.
David went forward to face Goliath, as we know David flung a stone that hit Goliath in the forehead and the Giant fell to his death. David then took the Giants own sword and cut off his head. While the Bible tells us that it was the stone that killed Goliath, most experts agree that the stone probably only knocked him out, it was the beheading that actually killed the Giant.
David despite all the odds overcame the challenge he faced, he did so with nothing at his side but determination and love.
Now the question we must ask ourselves, was it love of God, love of self or love of another that gave David the strength to bring down the mighty Goliath. The Bible gives us two options, as I cant force myself to believe it was the hand of God that protected him, I am left believing it was love that allowed David to tackle his greatest challenge, love of another.
So I know my two cousins will be surrounded by love and guidance that will enable them to continue tackling their own Giants, and hopefully the story of David will be their guide and as such a nude statue is the least of mine or their worries.
Besides this is a replica of Michelangelo greatest work and as future Citizens of the World, they will be introduced to a World that their parents could never envision and that many in their family can only dream of.
"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied." 1 Samuel 17:45
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Well hello February, you snuck up on me and here you are and soon your friend March will roll right over me. So an update, bullet style or if you prefer facebook status style!
Bobby is..
Today would have been my parents 37th anniversary, as it stands they only made it together about 17 of those years.
I have currently put the house hunting on hold, first the HOUSE I bidded on was snatched from under me, I was outbidded and that put a damper on things, plus Ive been attending family funerals. 5 people in the last two months have passed away and its been a hard start of the new year for us.
The house hunting is also on hold because of the kids, last week CPS sent me an email asking how soon I could move into a 3 bedroom. Well I can move into a 3 bedroom apartment in a matter of days but a house would take more time. So I am preparing myself for what I hope is good news with the kids. I will have a final answer around February 18th.
Gallaudet is holding my diploma hostage, they said I owed them $7500. So after going over the bill yesterday, I managed to clear $6,000 of it but now I owe 1500, anyone wanna' make a donation to the Bobby Get A Defree fund?
When I started working for TSD they required me to take the SCPI, so I took that back in October, two days agao I finally got the result and I was rated SUPERIOR, the highest rating given!
After a week of being sick, im feeling the end near, so I should be back to my normal self tonight or tomorrow!
I discovered an awesome Mexican Mom and Pop place down the road, I dont like chain mexican food!
My job is going great, Its actually awesome. My 6 months probation evaluation was excellent. I keep getting comments from all the stayy, "I hope you stick around," seems my position has a high turnover which isnt suprising.
My students are constantly giving me dating advice, soon I am going to have to spill the beans.
Charlie has not been washed in months, unheard of. I know he is sitting out ther under his carport embarrased by the dirt!
THE END
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I had agreed to write and read the eulogy at my Uncle's funeral yesterday. I worked all night Wednesday on the euology, got up at 3 am to do some revisions before making the drive to Dallas. Imagine my shock and distress when it was GONE. I do not know what I did but I only saved ONE paragraph of a two page eulogy. I have spent more years in school than I want to remember, I of all people know how important it is to save documents and do so. However, it was gone!
So I spent an hour re-writing it and EVERYONE knows I have a horrid memory, but I think I did ok, in fact the second draft may have been better for all purpose and intents.
I arrived at the funeral home and I was handed a program and imagine my shock when right across the top it says "Officiating Bobby White." I aint no preacher!
It seems my Aunt and Cousins had heard alot about the first eulogy I ever delivered about two years ago for another Aunt (I got a standing ovation for that one which shocked the crap out of me, nobody claps at a funeral!), so they agreed to let me do it. They did not read what I had written prior nor had the chance to edit it, so I was playing on my guts that they would be "ok" with what I was about to say.
So here we all are in this Chapal, and I was given a schedule of events that I was to follow. So we start off with the Preacher reading a couple of passages from the bible. Then he says a prayer, then we have "Amazing Grace" piped in, then we have a silent moment where everyone is to read the obituary printed in the program, after that a moment for anyone to come up and share their memories of my Uncle (no one did!) then they pipe in "Go Tell It On The Mountain," then it was my turn to deliver the eulogy whch would be followed by another prayer and then the procession from the Chapal to the gravesite.
So all of this is going on barely above a whisper, it was as if someone had died or maybe study time at the library. So me being loud and deaf, well we couldnt have that anymore.
My Uncle like me is a loud man and a non stop talker, so I stood back up and said loudly, "I dont know about ya'll but its too damn quiet up in here. In all my life I have never been in a room with Uncle Jeff that was this quiet!"
There was a few head jerks, gasps and finally uncomfortable laughter! I delivered the eulogy and I swear the preacher man was about to faint as I delivered my Uncle's version of heaven and paradise. It was really funny, to watch the reaction of my family. Needless to say they were shocked but after they got over the initial schock the message sunk in.
I gave my Uncle the farewell he would have wanted, not the one dictated by social norms. I brought the house down! I hope my Uncle would have approved.
It really was a funny moment!
Tags: family
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My family asked that I write and deliver the Euology. So I have been up all morning and drafted the following. I am off now to Dallas. I will drive back tonight as I work tomorrow. Hope everyone is wel.. _ _ _ _ _ _ William Jeff White, born to Alton and Icy White on January 23, 1952 in Lubbock, Texas. He is survived by his wife Judy White of 29 year’s and their three children, William Jeff While Jr., Bobby Ray White and Tasha Lynn White; his grandchildren Eric, Zachary, Dalton and Ashley, his brothers Jimmy White, Eugene White and my Dad Bobby White Sr. along with countless nieces and nephews and many friends and least we forget he is also survived by the fattest damn dog I ever saw in my life, his friend and companion Baxter. Uncle Jeff was an ordinary man living in a crazy and often unjust world. In life we each must carry the burdens given to us on our own shoulders; Uncle Jeff carried his burdens in stride and often with a smile. While life was not always kind, obstacles sometimes too great, Uncle Jeff continued on and in the end the reward is his alone. I was able to hear many great stories about my Uncle Jeff, especially those involving his grandchildren. It’s apparent to me the love he had for each of them and I know in death as in life, he will continue to watch over them. Uncle Jeff was a family man, his family being the most important thing in life. While we know life was not always easy for him, we know that he did for his family as best he could and in the end, his love was his greatest gift. Last Friday I had the chance to visit Uncle Jeff for the last time, he was in high spirits full of mirth and good cheer. While death was approaching his door slowly, he faced it head on, putting on a brave face for all those around him. He was talking non-stop and even while lying in bed, shaking that leg of his as if he wouldn’t make it to the bathroom. I never met anyone who could shake a leg like my Uncle Jeff. All of us there that day, gathered around his bed and sang “Happy Birthday,” to him as that was the last birthday he would celebrate in this world, and you could see the happiness on his face, he was content and he was at peace. I was able to tell him I loved him no good-bye’s were needed. As I was about to leave, he asked me to smoke one last blunt for him. My Dad and Sister were quick to remind him that I don’t smoke. Bodene, let me tell you. If paradise in heaven is the happiness we seek on earth. There is indeed a paradise waiting for you. A few summers ago while traveling across Europe, my last stop was Amsterdam. The city is known the world over for its red light districts. In Amsterdam I saw your paradise, It’s waiting for you. They have coffee shops, you can go in, sit down with people of all walks of life from around the world, young and old, preppy and hippies alike. Order yourself a cup of coffee, while your sitting there sipping your coffee, a waitress will come around carrying a tray. She may not be pretty but she has that tray. Bodene, I don’t have to tell you what’s rolled up on that tray, so many sizes, and colors and who knew they even came rolled in flavored paper, strawberry, kiwi and even chocolate if you’re so brave. Life there has no worries, no burdens and most importantly no pain. If paradise is what we wish it to be, Uncle Jeff I know you’re at peace and I know you have finally reached your paradise. I love You, Tags: family
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 Marsha (My Sister and Uncle Jeff taken on his Birthday, January 23, 2009) This past Friday, I drove to Dallas to attend the funeral of an old Family friend as well as to visit my Uncle Jeff to say good-bye and tell him I loved him. His last words to me were smoke a blunt for him. He must have been really out of it to say that to me of all people. Today he passed away. My Dad was the youngest of 7 boys. There are now three of them left, of the 3 the thing that scared me the most is knowing that my own Dad might be next. Uncle Jeff celebrated his 57th birthday that Friday we all stood around the bed and sang "Happy Birthday" for him, asked what he wanted he said a Dr. Pepper, so my sister and I drove to a store and brought him back a Dr., Pepper.
Growing up he was the Uncle that did well, had a great job, had the perfect family and everything any happy family could ask for. Then he discovered drugs, soon the job was lost, then slowly everything else.
People wonder why im so unforgiven even for "its just a joint." That just a join has destroyed my entire family and its far from finished.
I know my Uncle is no longer duffering and thats the thing that gives me the post peace, all of his demons have been put to rest.
A word of advice, dont let your own demons take your life, regardless of what form it takes! Tags: family, pictures
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This morning I am up early, will be driving to North Texas to the Texas National Cemetery, to attend my first every Military Funeral. An old family friend, someone who I have known all my life, the amazing part is I had never known he served and served with honors. He was such a humble man, I guess I should not be surprised. My Dad and Step-Mother are taking this very hard. Last week my Step-Mom lost a brother, so this is the second funeral they have attended in so many days. Also my Uncle Jeff, one of my Dad's brothers has been hospitalized, he is not doing well and the family are working to have him released so he can spend his final hours at home. Today is his birthday, so after the funeral we will stop by to visit him, my dad being forever hopeful dosnt want to accept the fact that he may loose one of his closest brothers. They were the closest in age of the 7 and were very close in years past.  My Dad on the left, Uncle Jeff on the Right. Me, then my Cousin Jeff and my Cousin Bobby. I will be staying the night with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) buddthadallas and then Saturday will get up and go visit my Uncle Frank in Jail to discuss the situation with the kids. Yesterday my Aunt Cathy and Grandma were allowed to visit the kids but were forced to sign a statement saying they will not discuss placement issues or me in particular,. I found out yesterday that the Austin CPS has still not turned in my home study and it has been two weeks, the woman who did the home study told me twice she would submit the paperwork. So I am not sure what the deal is. My Aunt Cathy said she felt they may be concerned over my deafness. I guess its refreshing that they are more concerned over my deafness than my sexuality. However, will see what happens and will keep everyone posted. Tags: family, pictures
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Well yesterday (Saturday), I went and looked at the house. From the outside, I knew I liked it, from the 4 pictures I saw of it, I thought I would like it, from peeking into the window, I thought it was doable, from looking over the back fence, I thought small but manageable. I have wanted a house with a pool forever, its the only materialistic thing I have ever wanted and not been swayed about. I could care less if the house was falling apart as long as it had a pool. Then reality sets in and a pool just might not be in your budget so you have to do what you gotta' do. However this house has a pool, so that was a positive when I decided to go look at it. I walked through the front door and I was like, Oh' wow this is huge, the formal living room and formal dinning room blend together with no dividing walls or anything but very nice. The family room has a fire place and an attached half bath and its fronted by the open and large kicthen that has an island as well as a breakfast nook with amazing windows over looking the backyard pool. French doors open to the backyard, a very small back yard with the pool dominating the entire yard. Its what I call a lap pool in a circular shape, and although we tried to look we couldnt tell how deep it is but from what we saw at least 6ft on one end. The pool had been covered for safety and it will need to be drained and cleaned beofre it can be used but otherwise looked to be in good shape, I have seen and swam in worst. Off the kitchen is a huge walk in pantry that also serves as the laundry room, with connections for a full size washer/dryer. The garage has a door that opens to the formal living/dinning room. Its a two car garage so Charlie would have plenty of room to park and be out of the elements. The downstairs is a total of 1173 sq ft. Its huge, I might have enough furniture to put once item in each room, if im lucky. The only thing I did not like was the off white carpet and the too white walls. It was just WHITE with no color at all, I can envision hardwood floors in the kitchen and family room and leaving the white in the formal rooms. Then you climp the stairs that open to a huge foryer, game room, office or another family room or anything you would like it to be. I am thinking with two kids, a game room for sure. There are 4 bedrooms up here and the master bedroom is at the end of the hall, beautiful french doors open to the master bedroom which again is huge, perfect, I can buy a King Size bed and have room for a sitting area too. Walk in closet, master bath has seperate tub and standing shower, very nice and very roomy. There are two smaller rooms, one was painted yellow and the other green, the only color THROUGHOUT the entire house, so obviously belonged to two kids perhaps, nice size both with walk in closets as well. Then there is a larger bedroom, perhaps a guest room, these three share a bathroom. All the rooms have ceiling fans very nice. All have wonderful views of the backyard and pool. It was a very nice house, the bids are due Thursday, so I am going to be placing my first bid, so wish me luck! Tags: house
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Well actually Mortgage Hunting, who knew? You cant house hunt without a loan, I must have thought for a moment I was one of those Rich White Folks who can just pick out a house, scan my American Express and be done with it. Well seems us poor folks need a loan first. So thats what I have been doing, 5 loan/mortgage companies this week and boy they send me email after email asking me some of the silliest questions, like where did you live last year? Really, is that important? Ok, so the house hunting is on hole while I mortgage hunt, the way it looks right now and I will be the first to admit my credit is in need of a vitamin C shot but at the same time the market is ripe for the picking. No one is buying right now, lenders are desperate they are willing to work with you as long as you have a job or so im told. So we will see what happens. In the mean time, ive found one house that im falling for its a HUD home but its nice, a new one at that, the neighborhood isnt too bad and the biggest thing it has a POOL. Asmall backyard but a pool, hmm its also in my budget range or rather I should say its in the budget range I think is my budget because I havent had anything to go by except those cute mortgage calculators you find online. I had Bank of American pre-guarantee me a loan and its far below that amount, so I guess thats good and means its in my budget range. Its a 4 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 car garage and 2600 sq. ft. Mind you i lived in DC for years in a 400 sq ft studi, so image an additional 2,200 sq ft of space just for me and my.. Well I dont have much but if I get the kids I will need all the extra room I can get. The kids will get a seperate post later. The house is about 20 minutes from my job as well as Down Town Austin, well I work pretty much in Down Town Austin except im on South Congress and locals call it SoCo but im sorry, I am not saying "SoCo," I dont care who you are. Life is good otherwise, I dont have any students this week so far, so work has been a little dull but considering everything thats not a bad thing. Happy Hump Day to one and all... Tags: house
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...is the day! Im up way too early doing last minute cleaning of my apartment, trying to remove things that might be offensive or hard to explain. Its nerve wraking! I have sense come to terms with the anguish I was feeling with my Mom over this whole thing and I guess she has done an about face since it seems I am the only one CPS will even consider at this point. I also had a nice texted conversation with my Aunt and cleared the air with her as she had wanted to take the kids, She means well and the saddest part is that she is my favorite Aunt, all through my childhood, on those most important dates, birthdays, holidays and even my High School graduation when I felt isolated, alone and forgotten she was the one who stepped up and gave me that needed love, that push that kept me going. She was one of the few! But life happens and she is really in no position to provide for them right now, she could provide them with an abundance of love but not much more. These things have been haunting me, life comes a full circle and here I am! Those who know me, know that I am agnostic but one of the few prayers I live by is the one ill be reciting today! - God grant me the serenity
- To accept the things I cannot change;
- Courage to change the things I can;
- And wisdom to know the difference.
- Living one day at a time;
- Enjoying one moment at a time;
- Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
- Taking, this sinful world
- As it is, not as I would have it.
Tags: family
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Well for those who may be curious about my iShuffle, I named him Chip and he is a real Chip off the ole' Block because he is now loaded with country music, not that vulgar new stuff they call country these days but the real stuff, yea the stuff your granny grew up on, now stop looking at me like that. I am very happy, several years ago ziegenman gave me a CD had made to keep me entertained on one of my many long drives from DC to Texas and for some reason the CD would not play in Charlie's stereo but I was able to upload the CD to Chip with no problems and now I have some of the good stuff. Hank Williams, Red Sovine, Patsy, Loretta, Dolly with some Bobbie Bare, Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday thrown in for good measures. Now of course there are those folks who brag they have tens of thousands of songs loaded on their iPod and my little shuffle here will only hold about 500 but seriously thats all I need. However as of now I have about 50 songs on Chip. So if you have read this far, do me a favor think of 5 songs that you feel I might like, or should not live without or just even your favorite songs and send me the titles. I need to expand my taste in music so want to see what my friends listen to and see if any of it might appeal to me. "There's no reason... to look at me, that way!" - Loretta Lynn
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